


beside me, around me

by wolfestarz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Bisexual Sirius Black, Drinking, Gay Remus Lupin, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Marauders' Era, Potions, Recreational Drug Use, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Swearing, Werewolf Remus Lupin, but not a sexual bond ok, but remus never became a marauder, muggle friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfestarz/pseuds/wolfestarz
Summary: Sirius didn’t know much about Remus Lupin, except that he was quiet, friends with Lily Evans, and sort of a swot.Oh, and he was shit at potions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to get things going!

Sirius didn’t know much about Remus Lupin, except that he was quiet, friends with Lily Evans, and sort of a swot.

Oh, and he was shit at potions.

This was a fact Sirius learned, along with everyone else, in first year, after a series of small explosions in Slughorn's class. Admittedly, the explosions were rarer these days, but that was entirely due to his choice in Potions partner. It would be a cold day in hell before Lily Evans received anything less than top marks on an assignment. 

So when Slughorn announced the change in partners, no one could really blame Sirius for protesting.

-

"It's the middle of term! Why are we switching partners _now_?"

Remus thought he ought to be offended that the thought of partnering with him sent Black off on a tangent, but honestly, it didn't take much to get Black ranting in general. No, Remus was more concerned with the fact that he'd be separated from Lily and all her potions wisdom. He shot a worried look Lily's way, and she patted his arm consolingly, confirming his doom. Remus knew he was abysmal at Potions, but Lily had always been a patient partner, picking up his slack and trying her best to explain the processes to him. Remus had an inkling that Sirius Black would be less understanding about the whole thing, but maybe he could change Slughorn's mind, especially as murmurs of agreement echoed around the room, along with Potter's rather enthusiastic assent.

"Because, Mr. Black, variety is the spice of life,"

_I have enough spice in my life, thank you very much._

"And most of you have stayed paired to the same student for years. It's time to learn how to work with different people, prepare you for the work force," Slughorn said cheerily while the room collectively groaned. "So move next to your newly assigned partner. Make it quick!"

Remus rolled his eyes as Black and Potter said their dramatic goodbyes, and grabbed his things reluctantly while Lily glared threateningly in Black's direction, gripping her quill tightly in her hand. "If Black says anything rude to you, I'll hex his bollocks off." 

Remus slid the strap of his bag over his shoulder. "Not if I draw my wand first."

Lily bit back a devilish grin, schooling her face into a pleasant, neutral expression, once a blond, anxious hufflepuff took Remus' seat next to her. With a small sigh, Remus headed toward Black's table, trying to keep his face calm and even.

"This is bullshit," Black muttered as Remus set his things down and slid into the seat next to him.

 _Yeah, no shit._ Remus didn't bother answering him. They weren't brewing today, but if he had to listen to Sluhorn drone on and on about the properties of asphodel _in addition_ to hearing Black whine about the injustice of being landed with Remus for half a term, then he might have to cast a class-wide silencing charm under the table.

He unrolled his parchment as Slughorn began speaking, prepared to take as many notes as possible, now that he wouldn't be able to rely on Lily to help him along. For the millionth time, he wished he could just use a damn pen and notebook. It would save so much time, but Remus couldn't afford to stand out, not with his condition, and it was probably against the rules anyway. He sighed quietly, dipping his quill in his inkpot.

Class really couldn't end quick enough.

Once Slughorn dismissed them, Remus rolled up his parchment and left as fast as possible. The last thing Remus wanted was to get stuck in a conversation with Sirius Black when he was feeling this itchy and jittery. The full moon would rise tonight, and Remus had already begun to feel his body reacting since morning, becoming restless and shifty, uncomfortable in his skin. It made him nervous and paranoid as the day wore on. Each class was more unbearable than the last, and by the time Transfiguration was over, Remus was counting the minutes it would take to get to the passageway and into his stash of semi-tolerable weed.

Lily gave him a knowing look when they passed each other in the hallway, only playfully disapproving. The first time he'd smoked on the Hogwarts grounds, she'd smelled it on him, and after scolding him for breaking the rules and schooling him on the dangers of illegal drug use, she'd showed him a spell to get rid of the stench.

Lily Evans was a gem.

Remus rounded the corner and walked down the deserted hallway, looking over his shoulder with every few steps. He slid behind the statue and tapped his wand against the stone three times, whispering a spell under his breath. Once the door formed, and he was on the other side, in the dark damp passageway, he could finally breathe. He felt around for the loose stone which hid his stash, thankful that he'd rolled a few joints ahead of time when his fingers closed around them, already made and ready to smoke. He dug around in his pocket for his lighter and slid to the earthy floor in relief.

The spark of the lighter was loud in the silence of the passageway, the flame lighting Remus up in soft yellows and oranges in the darkness as he lit his joint and brought it to his mouth.

 _Fuck yes_. He felt the tension leave his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watcha think? im kinda feeling a slow-burn-but-not-too-slow-burn kinda deal? maybe 60k?
> 
> idk let me know if I should keep it up!
> 
> all comments and kudos are deeply appreciated!!


	2. Chapter 2

Remus headed to the toilets at the end of the hall. It was always deserted in this corridor. In fact, Remus doubted that most students even knew it existed.

It was a decent place to go for a bit of peace and quiet, and the mirrors were a definite benefit when he needed to gauge the redness of his eyes. He took a quick look around to ensure the room was empty, and locked the door behind him. A quick scourgify only took one layer of dirt and grime off the glass, but even through the blurriness, Remus could see the sorry state of his eyes. He grabbed his drops out of his right pocket and tilted his head back, squeezing a few in each eye and blinking away the excess. He’d tried some spells and potions to reduce the redness before, but nothing worked as well as the muggle stuff. He spelled away the weed stench, (thank you Lily) along with the dirt on his robes, wiped his sleeves under his damp eyes, and declared himself semi-presentable. Or, at least something vaguely resembling a human being.

He considered visiting the kitchens. A combination of the munchies and his body’s need for extra fuel during the transformation meant that Remus was ridiculously hungry before the full moon, but the nausea involved with a full stomach during transformation usually meant vomiting while his bones broke and mended into new shapes. _Maybe just one snack_ , he reasoned. After all, he’d have to skip dinner. It was far too close to the time the moon would rise.

-

"My dreams of being an auror are shattered, Prongs."

James snorted. "Just because Lupin is your partner now?" Wormtail remained silent, nibbling on a roll, and Sirius was outraged by the lack of concern circulating at his table. "Besides, since when have you cared about your grades?"

Sirius huffed. "I can't be accepted to the auror program with a _failing_ Potions grade, James. My charm and good looks can only take me so far," he sighed, and, like an arsehole, James laughed oh-so-unhelpfully. Sirius thunked his head on the table in defeat. "It's over for me."

Prongs patted him on the back sympathetically, and Sirius scowled, knowing he was laughing beside him. "Maybe Remus isn't as useless at Potions as you think," Wormtail piped up, mouth half full of roast chicken, but Sirius could not be consoled at a time like this.

" _Remus_ , hm?" he snapped. "Since when are you two on a first-name basis?"

Wormtail shifted nervously. "He helps me with Herbology sometimes. He's not so bad," he shrugged, glancing anxiously at James for a reaction. Sirius rolled his eyes. _Pathetic._

"Don't lie to me, Wormtail," he scowled, stabbing his fork into his food. "He's a complete bore."

Prongs raised an eyebrow suspiciously, "Have you ever actually spoken to him?" 

"Yes!" Sirius shouted defensively. A few heads turned. "Well, sort of." _Not really._ James snorted again. What was with all the snorting? He sounded like a pig. Sirius wanted very much to burn him into a bacon-y crisp. _Arsehole_. "Shut it, Prongs. I don't see you making conversation with him."

"Well, he's not my Potions partner, is he?"

Sirius was definitely going to burn him to a crisp.

-

"What's the damage?" Remus smiled wryly, voice rough and raspy from howling in the night. His body was sore and aching as always, his bones heavy and useless, but he didn't feel the sharp pain of an open wound. Perhaps he was lucky this time around.

Lily was busy rubbing dittany on his leg, but looked up to give him a small smile. "Not so bad, the wounds healed quickly on their own, only had to use a spell for the one on your leg. Now I'm working on the scars they left."

Most mornings after the full moon, Remus woke to a similar scene, Lily slathering him in dittany on the cold floor of the shack. She always arrived within minutes of his transformation back to human form, much sooner than Pomfrey's appearances. Remus could never figure out how she timed it so perfectly. He tried to explain to Lily that her visits weren't necessary, that his body did its best to heal itself, but he couldn't deny that the deeper wounds had difficulty stitching themselves back up, and the longer his fresh scars went without dittany, the less likely they were to disappear.

At first, Remus was embarrassed about it all, Lily finding him naked and torn apart on the floor every month, then nursing him back to health like a baby bird. He was exposed in more ways than one, but the years had made the routine fade into semi-normalcy. After all, Lily suspected Remus was a werewolf in second year, confronted him in third, and began healing him in fourth. He'd had time to adjust.

"You should go," Remus said quietly. The sun was coming up, and Pomfrey would be there any minute.

Patting his leg gently, Lily sighed. "You better stay in the hospital wing for a while. You may not have life-threatening injuries, but you need the rest, Remus."

He nodded and watched her leave, though they both knew he wouldn't take the advice. He couldn't afford to miss too many days of class and risk suspicion. Recovery days were reserved for the worst injuries, under the excuse of visiting his sick mother. 

Remus curled up on the cold floor. Soon, Pomfrey would come through the door with a blanket and some spare robes, now that there was no chance of him ripping them to shreds. Until then, he'd have to shiver.

-

Remus took a deep breath, wincing as he walked, his muscles protesting the movements. The warm water from the prefects' bath had helped decrease the tension in his body, but it would take a few days for the soreness to dissipate.

"You alright?" Lily whispered as he took a seat beside her at breakfast. Remus tried for a teasing smile, but it turned out a bit crooked. The clanging of silverware and chatter of conversation around the great hall was already making his head spin, and it was difficult to hide the growing migraine.

"Just peachy."

Lily scoffed, returning to her food. "Watch the sass, Lupin. I'll hex your ears off."

"Maybe you should. Then, I wouldn't have to go to Potions today."

Rolling her eyes, Lily slapped a few pieces of bacon down on his plate. "Eat. I know you're starving."

Remus smiled, for real this time. "Alright, mum." He tried to chew slowly, though his stomach was demanding he scarf it down immediately. He focused on Lily's half-hearted scowl. When she thought he wasn't looking, she'd sneak another piece of bacon onto his plate.

-

It really was the worst day to brew. The shake had returned to Remus's hands, and he'd since shoved them between his thighs, hoping the warmth might relax them. Even worse were his senses, his nose still sensitive, and the strong smell of potion ingredients threatened to overwhelm him. He closed his eyes briefly to center himself, but the migraine he'd been nursing since breakfast had already reached a new level of intensity. He could feel Lily sending him worried looks from across the room as he clenched his jaw a little too tight. By now, she knew all his tells, and Remus could never hide his pain from her like he did everyone else.

"Are you falling asleep?" Black asked curiously, ignoring Slughorn as he went over the brewing process. _Great. Neither one of us is paying attention._

Avoiding his eyes, Remus tried to concentrate on what Slughorn was saying. "No," he finally replied, with a little more steel than he'd meant to let slip. His teeth were grinding against each other slightly.

Distantly, he was aware that Black had replied, most likely with something snippy or haughty, but Remus' brain was turning to mush. He shook his head lightly to snap himself out of it. Something wasn't right, but he couldn't draw attention to himself so soon after the full moon. 

After Slughorn finished his speech, Remus mindlessly collected the potion ingredients from the cupboard and placed them on the table. Seemingly on auto-pilot, he began chopping up mandrake roots, perhaps subconsciously registering Black's instructions, though he couldn't remember ever hearing them. He was becoming unsteady on his feet. He thought briefly to the charmed coin in his pocket. He could send a help signal to Lily. Perhaps she could cause a diversion, and he could slip away, recover from this odd state in the comfort of his secret passageway.

Sharp and quick, he felt a trickle of pain. Remus looked down to see a small drop of glistening red pooling on his index finger. He dropped the blade and the root, and the world dropped off its axis.

-

"Bloody typical! Lupin made a potion explode! Can I go now?"

Remus held in a groan as he awakened, all of the aches and sores from the previous night returning full force. He blinked open his eyes, wincing at the bright light of the infirmary. Wonderful. He'd ended up precisely where he didn't want to be, yet the how's and why's of the situation still eluded him. Clearly, it had something to do with the irate Sirius Black arguing with Pomfrey in the bed beside him, but part of Remus just wanted to go back to sleep and avoid it all.

"Lupin! Glad to see you've joined the land of the living," Black said sarcastically, narrowing his eyes at Remus' blank expression.

After all, Remus had plenty of time to be anxious later. Right now, it was important to appear neutral. He still didn't know exactly how they had ended up in the infirmary, or if it had anything to do with his 'furry little problem.' Staying calm was key.

He deliberately looked past Black and addressed Pomfrey, the safer choice. "What happened?"

Black scoffed. Pomfrey ignored him. "Just a small incident in Potions. Professor Slughorn will be by any minute to discuss the effects."

"Effects?" both boys said aloud. A hint of nervousness bled into Remus' voice.

Fortunately, Slughorn himself strolled through the doors a few seconds later, addressing them cheerily. "Happy to see you're both awake and unharmed, boys!"

Remusfought the instinct to roll his eyes. _Yeah, everything's just fan-fucking-tastic._

"Yes, perfectly healthy. I can't speak for Lupin here, but I am in peak form," Black drawled, almost bored. Remus held in a snort. Only Sirius Black could alternate between indignant and indifferent so effortlessly, while making the rest of the room feel like they've suffered whiplash. "Can I go to quidditch practice now?"

"I'm afraid quidditch practice is the least of your concerns now, Mr. Black." Remus stiffened. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you and Mr. Lupin seem to be under the effects of a short-term proximity bond."

Remus froze, anxiety flooding through him. This was the end. Black would find out. Everyone would. Panic clawed at his throat, but he kept perfectly still.

Black whipped around to face him, eyes cutting and accusing. "What have you done now, Lupin? A proximity bond? We won't be able to stray more than a few feet from each other!"

Remus' mouth dropped open, as he struggled for a retort. Usually, there was always one just on the tip of his tongue that he had to bite back, but the day's events had rendered him speechless. "Actually, Mr. Black. It was your error that resulted in this incident." 

_If only Lily could see his face right now._ Despite the circumstances, the thought almost made him laugh out loud.

"Excuse me?"

"The potion contained too much asphodel, which I believe was your task, Sirius" Slughorn said gently. Black scowled. If the issue of his dark creature status wasn't still weighing heavily on his mind, Remus might have cheered. "It altered the effects of the potion. Although, if it weren't for the contact with skin, caused by the explosion, the error would have been nearly undetectable. As for the cause of the explosion itself, well..that is still undetermined."

"How long do you expect this 'short-term' bond to last?" Remus interrupted, before Black could respond with something scathing. He was impressed with the steadiness of his own voice.

"It shouldn’t last more than a week.”

Relief flooded through Remus' body. Even the knowledge that he would be stuck with Sirius Black for a week couldn't take away from the assurance that the bond would end well before the next full moon.

Black had quite a different reaction.

"A week?" He stood suddenly. "You expect me to follow Lupin around for a week?"

Expressing offense to that would be a waste of time, Remus decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? opinions?
> 
> I thrive on kudos and comments so let me know how ur feeling! <3


End file.
